10 Most Unfortunate Car Names

Marketers do a great job of convincing us to buy stuff (often stuff we don't need) - but through the annals of history they have occasionally gotten things wrong. This is a list of the ten most unfortunately named cars.

Mazda LaPuta (in spanish: "the whore")

The car's name actually derivates from the book Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift, but go explain this to spanish speakers. For them, it means "the whore".

Mitsubishi Pajero (in spanish: "wanker")

The Spanish version ended up as "Montero", but still many spanish-speaking customer do have a wanker.

Nissan Moco (in spanish: "booger")

It was only marketed in Japan as such; otherwise it would have been a bad (nose) pick for spanish speakers.

Buick LaCrosse (in French: "masturbating teenagers")

When Buick launched the "LaCrosse" in Canada why couldn't it have come across as "the fancy pen on wheels," or something to do with archery? Nope, in French-speaking Quebec, the meaning is, of course, masturbating teenagers.

Chevrolet Nova (in spanish: "It Doesn't Go")

General Motors had a very famous fiasco in trying to market the Nova car in Central and South America. "No va" in Spanish means, "It Doesn't Go".

Opel Ascona (in Spain and Portugal: "female genitalia")

Why couldn't the "Opel Ascona" mean "little flower" or "cute worm," which would have been cause for just mild embarrassment? Instead, it means female genitalia in Northern Spain and parts of Portugal.

Honda Fitta (in swedish and norwegian: "cunt")

So why can only spanish speakers have genitalic cars? Here's one for up there: the Honda "cunt"

Daihatsu Charade

It's not really a car, it's just pretending! This was one of those econo-boxes that was not merely humiliating to drive, it embarrassed its owner each time its name was uttered. "I drive a Charade." Good-bye, prom date!

Dodge Swinger

You'll also find ads for these on the back pages of adult magazines. Okay, it was the '70s, but still - why not just call it the STD?

AMC Gremlin

Do you really want to own a car named after annoying small problems that are next-to-impossible to fix? Courtesy of the same folks who brought you the Pacer.

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World's Worthless Money

10 million Zimbabwean Dollars = US$4

If you think the American economy is bad, take heart that it’s nowhere near the ultra-super-hyperinflation in Zimbabwe, once one of the richest countries in Africa. The country’s central bank has recently issued a Z$100 billion note (yes, Z$100,000,000,000). So, what would a Z$100 billion note buy you? About two loaves of bread (it won’t even get you lunch - you’d need at least Z$250 billion for lunch).

So far this year, the country ravaged by hyperinflation has been forced to print 100-million, 250-million and 500-million notes in rapid succession. All of them are now almost worthless. has become common now for Zimbabweans to talk of their daily expenses in trillions (one trillion is 12 zeros).

500,000 vietnamese Dongs = US$30

An early-1980s U.S. embargo hobbled exports, leading to price controls and the printing of excess currency.

100,000 Indonesian rupiah = US$11

During the 1997 Asian financial crisis, the rupiah lost 80 percent of its value within months, sparking riots in Jakarta (and soon ending President Suharto's 32-year rule).

50,000 Iranian Rial = US$5

Since the 1979 revolution, Iran's inflation rate has hovered around 15 percent, thanks in part to ever-rising oil prices.

50,000 São Tomé Dobra = US$3.47

This African island nation's economy is tied to the volatile price of its chief export, cocoa, and is measured against its trading partners' robust euro.

10,000 Guinean Francs = US$2.33

In 2002, the mineral-rich African country refused to implement reforms mandated by the International Monetary Fund; foreign cash dried up, and the central bank printed too much money.

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Athletes donate their brains

SIXTEEN American athletes, including six former NFL players, have agreed to donate their brains to a program that will study the long-term effects of concussions, a founder of an organization running it said today.

"Our goal is for people to start taking concussions seriously,'' said Chris Nowinski, a former pro wrestler and an American football player at Harvard. "That means getting off the field when they receive them and finding ways to prevent them.''

The study is a joint effort by Nowinski's Sports Legacy Institute and the Boston University School of Medicine. They are collaborating in the new Center for the Study of Traumatic Encephalopathy.

Among former NFL players who have agreed to donate their brains after their deaths are Ted Johnson, Frank Wycheck, Isaiah Kacyvenski and Ben Lynch. Also participating are Noah Welch, who played in the NHL for the Florida Panthers last season, and Cindy Parlow, a former US women's football international.

"I shouldn't have to prove to anybody that there's something wrong with me,'' Johnson, a former New England Patriots linebacker, told The New York Times.

The 35-year-old's neurologist has pointed to Johnson's multiple concussions from 2002-05 as a cause of his permanent and degenerative problems with memory and depression.

"I'm not being vindictive. I'm not trying to reach up from the grave and get the NFL,'' Johnson added. "But any doctor who doesn't connect concussions with long-term effects should be ashamed of themselves.''

Nowinski has seen greater awareness to dangers from concussions. "Whereas three years ago I tried to speak on this issue and coaches were able to keep me out of their schools because they didn't want their kids to be scared,'' he said, "now, for example, we just ran all New Hampshire Pop Warner (kids football) head coaches through an educational program. They're now holding kids out much more often because they can recognize the concussions better.''

Nowinski said SLI is setting up a registry with the names of the people who have agreed to donate their brains and that Boston University will oversee the scientific aspects.

The center is expected to announce on Thursday that former Houston Oilers linebacker John Grimsley was the fifth deceased NFL player found to have brain damage commonly associated with boxers, according to the Times. Andre Waters, Mike Webster, Terry Long and Justin Strzelczyk were the first four.

"We support all research that would further the scientific and medical understanding of this injury, which affects thousands of people, athletes and nonathletes alike, every year,'' NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said.

"Hundreds of thousands of people have played football and other sports without experiencing any problem of this type, and there continues to be considerable debate in the medical community on the precise long-term effects of concussions and how they relate to other risk factors.''

Grimsley died in February of a self-inflicted gunshot wound in February that police ruled an accident. The NFL is conducting its own study on concussions, and Aiello expected the results to be published in 2010.

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